Not allowed

There are certain ideas related to pregnancy and babies that I do not allow in our house.

First – “baby brain”

The research just doesn’t back up that pregnant women lose their memories or brain cells. In fact research shows that a pregnant woman’s brain is a hive of activity (Scientific American: The Pregnant Brain as a Revving Race Car and BBC News: Pregnancy baby brain lapse ‘a myth’). A pregnant woman can also be tired. And just like anyone else, cognitive ability does suffer with exhaustion.

Second – “nesting”

It isn’t called nesting when you get ready for adult house guests. Why would it be any different when getting ready for a newborn house mate? We all get the urge to clean or make our house feel like home at times. Setting up house is not restricted to pregnant women.

Third – “binkie”

It’s not the item I’m against. It’s the word. I really don’t like that word. It’s a pacifier. And certainly not a pacie. I wasn’t bound and determined that Iddo would want/need one either. We bought one kind, the Soothies brand. And that was it. If she hadn’t liked that one, we weren’t going to go out and buy different ones till we found one she liked, she just wouldn’t use one. At this point she’ll use her pacifier, thumb, finger, two fingers, three fingers, entire fist, all about equally. And that’s perfectly fine. Just don’t call it a binkie.

Fourth – “lovie”

I’m sorry, but the word just sounds dumb to me. Call it a security blanket. Call it a favorite toy. Call mine Purple Kitty. But don’t call it a lovie. Whatever Iddo settles on as her security object will not be called a lovie. And we won’t limit where she takes it or when she has it either. It will not be restricted to naps or long car rides. If she wants to drag it to the park or the grocery store, that’s fine. If she wants to take it to college and only leaves it home on her mission because she didn’t want it to get fleas and sleeps with it right up until she gets married at 31, that’s fine too (Brett says she’s not getting married till she’s 32 though). If she settles on something inappropriate as her favorite object, we’ll negotiate a trade. But otherwise it’s up to her to pick something, and up to her to name it. So help me if she names it “lovie.”

Fifth – “terrible twos”

This isn’t an actual stage of development. In order for something to be a stage it has to be pretty much universal, every person on earth goes through it at roughly the same time in their life. Since the “Terrible Twos” can happen anywhere from one to four and seem to be confined to rather middle-class industrial type people (called WEIRD in the literature for Western Educated Industrialized Rich Democratic), it is therefore not a stage at all. Neither is this whole “emerging adulthood” thing, which is just an excuse to put off growing up and accepting responsibility till the end of the 20s at the earliest.