What matters

We got back from my grandpa’s funeral this morning. It has been a strange week. I am very grateful to Brett for constantly asking me how I’m feeling and letting me feel what I need to feel, whatever those feelings are. Most of those feelings are not for public consumption. But there is one that has come up quite a bit this past week. I’ve found myself asking, “What’s the point?” at several different times.

I know that this life is not all there is. I know that when we die that’s not the end and all is not lost. There is a definite point to this life and what we do really matters. So I haven’t been wondering, “What’s the point? We’re all going to die anyway.” But rather along the lines of, “I have such limited time, what’s the point of this thing in the eternal scheme of things?”

If our lives are so short, am I really making good use of the little time I have? How will what I’m doing now affect me eternally? And if it won’t make a difference, why bother?

I’ve been sorting through my life and my actions and trying to figure out what really matters, and then looking at if I am spending my time on those things that matter. It’s been interesting to see what side of the line some things have fallen. Taking care of our family and home, making it strong and sure and stable, has definitely mattered. Some of the other things that outwardly seem so important have suddenly felt rather hollow.

I want to spend more time on the things that matter.