Joy is a Choice

When talking about communication skills, the point is often made about the power of “I” statements over “you” statements. Such statements do not put the other person on the defensive. They are not attacking statements. But they are also statements about owning your thoughts and feelings. If you can say “I feel this way” rather than “you made me feel this way” you are realizing that you have control over your feelings, you own them. And if you own them and control them, then you can choose them. And if that’s the case, I want to choose joy.

It isn’t always as easy as that. Sometimes situations happen that make that choice very hard. Sometimes making that choice also involves making the choice to get professional and medical help. I think that is a very brave choice.

I am a person who does better with to-do lists. So when I stumbled across the idea of a joy list a while back, I thought it was brilliant. I could choose to do things each day and each week that would help me have joy in my life. The idea of choosing to be joyful in my life reminded me of President Hinckley’s Be’s. So I pulled his book, Way to Be, off my shelf and read it. And then I sat down to decide what I would do to make more joy in my life.

I came up with some things I need to be doing each day. I need to be on my knees in prayer and in the scriptures each day. I need to eat healthy each day. I need to laugh and get outside.

Some things I want to do regularly, but not necessarily each day, like running, writing my thoughts, and reading. So I decided I would do each of those at least three times a week.

And other things I knew I wanted to make time for, but if they didn’t happen each week that was okay. So I made a list of things that I wanted to pull from at least ten times a week. I want to appreciate nature. Have you seen the sunsets here? I want to make more time for bubble baths. I want to write in my journal more regularly and I want to write more letters to family and friends. I want to take photos and create with my hands and make music.

Some days it is much easier to find the joy in my life than others. I have yet to have a week where I cross off my joy list perfectly. But I’m choosing to keep working at it.

Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you; it is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life.
President Harold B. Lee