ILMES

On my left hand I wear the wedding band Brett gave me when we got married seven years ago next week. When I’m not changing diapers so much I’ll wear the engagement ring he gave me again as well. I love the simple symbol it is of our love and marriage and the promises that holds.

I wanted something similar for our kids. It needed to fit my style which meant something simple and something that wouldn’t get in the way, so traditional jewelry was out. And I needed it to also acknowledge the two we lost and believe we will have in heaven. They are part of our family and Iddo will gladly tell you about the two brothers she has in heaven if you ask.

I settled on a simple thin silicone band I wear around my left wrist. It’s white because of that is the color I associate with the hope it took to get our children here and the hope they give me now. Written on it is the Portuguese word “Espero.” It means both “I hope” and “I wait.” The connection between waiting and hoping was a very important concept for me as we worked to bring our children to our family and is still something I associate with them. I also included the first initial of all five of our children – ILMES.

I do not wear it as a reminder of our children. I will never forget them. Just like I don’t wear my wedding band to remind me of my marriage. Instead I see it as a physical symbol of the fact that I will always carry them in my heart and that they will always be a part of me.