His daughter

We talked adoption. The idea came up a lot. I read blogs by adoptive parents. But the idea never felt right to either of us. And adoption is not something you just do and it is definitely not something you do unless you are full heart and soul committed.

One of the adoptive blogs that I still love to read is The R House. They have three sons and speak with such love about their adoptions and the wonderfully open relationships they have with their birth families. The love just spills out of their home. They’ve taught me a lot about adoption and how expansive family can be. They are particularly careful with the language they use for adoption. It’s a very positive language. Children are placed, not given up.

One night several months ago I was singing to Iddo as she drifted off to sleep. As I sang “I Am a Child of God” to her, as I do most nights, the truth of the words struck me. And I started to think of my relationship to her in terms of adoption, and especially an open adoption.

Brett and I are the parents of her mortal body. But Heavenly Father is the parent of her immortal spirit. She was born on high. God did not “give her up” when He sent her to us. He placed her with us. With great love He has charged us with raising His child. I want her to have an extremely open relationship with her Heavenly Father, to know where she came from and what that means.

The Father has never relinquished his claim upon the children born into this world. They are still His children. He has placed them in the care of mortal parents with the admonition that they be brought up in light and truth.
– President Joseph Fielding Smith, “Bringing Up Children in Light and Truth,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Fielding Smith.

There are so many people who love our Iddo. But I especially want her to know the love she brought with her and the heritage that was hers before she was ours.