I was recently given the advice to not ask for advice if I didn’t want any. Thing was, I hadn’t asked for advice, about anything, especially not advice on asking about advice. But people love to give advice. Especially about babies.
Before getting pregnant I had a few friends give us advice about how to become pregnant. Which is just weird. Their advice generally was “relax.” Which is awful advice because stress doesn’t cause infertility and relaxing wasn’t going to cure the medical condition causing our infertility. I’d never asked them for advice. I asked our fertility specialist, who has a medical degree, for advice. And I asked God for advice.
When I was pregnant I had a homeless lady and some not-so-close acquaintances give me labor advice. I hadn’t asked them for labor advice. I asked our doula and OB for advice.
Now that we have a baby I’ve received advice from other not-so-close acquaintances, family (although that’s generally been of the form “we tried this when our baby was doing something similar” and “why don’t you try this” rather than “do this” type), friends and random people on the internet. I’ve asked for advice from our pediatrician, lactation consultants, and our pediatric gastroenterologist. And I’ve asked God for advice.
However, according to some random person on the internet who told me not to ask for advice if I didn’t want any (when I hadn’t asked for any), I’m going to have to go to college with Iddo so I can wrap her up in a blanket because at 8 months old she still likes to be wrapped up for naps. Loved the jump from 8 months to 18 years that person made there. Am I going to have to go to college with her so I can change her diapers as well? She’s still doing that at 8 months too.
I imagine the list of people giving unsolicited advice, as well as the topics they give advice on, is only going to grow as Iddo does. I’ll just have to keep the advice my mom gave me in mind. She told me to say basically, “Thanks for your concern. We’re following the advice of our doctor.”
I am an educator and PhD. I quilt, belly dance, run, read, and try to grow things. I am a Mormon. I am infertile. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, friend, wife, and mom.
Brett L. Dennis
Mama g
Giggles
AmandaStretch
Now I know never to tell anyone, “all you need to do is relax. Trust me, it works.”
In my more enlightened condition, I will tell them, “all you need to do is a couple IUIs, two abdominal surgeries, six rounds of IVF, and wait several months. Trust me, it works.” :brett:
Wow, you are taking my advise about other people giving you advise. I feel so motherish. 🙂
I remember wanting to tell people “I won’t get offended when you give me advice, so please don’t get offended when I don’t follow it!”
I like your mom’s response.