Dreaming for two

I remember my dreams more often than Brett does. And since my sleep has been wonky the last few months, I’m remembering even more. I’ve heard that bad dreams during pregnancy are common. It’s the subconscious’s way of working through anxiety about having to take care of a person soon. I think it’s also a common graduate school symptom as your subconscious tries to deal with the pressure and anxiety of finishing a dissertation. So my dreams have been exceptionally bizarre lately.

I’ve dreamed of a demented emotion monster making everyone feel bad (probably something similar to a Dementor from Harry Potter).

I’ve dreamed I was trying to figure out some baby clothes that had 119 snaps on them and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what they were all for (the dream was very specific on the number of snaps).

I’ve dreamed I was rolling giant hollow balls full of milk around several obstacles and the liquid motion of the milk was making them wobble (I find it fascinating that my subconscious chose to obey that law of physics) so it was hard to get them to roll straight, but the rolling was also making butter.

I’ve half fallen asleep in the middle of a bathroom trip in the middle of the night and had a very disturbing dream about Christmas decorations.

I had a dream that involved me being a Russian Jew, a Bolshevik soldier who liked to knit Russian soldier dolls wearing Gaucho pants, a huge walk-through shower, an inability to text message a witty comment to Brad Wilcox after seeing him when I passed through the Provo Tabernacle on my way to class, running late so deciding to skip my high school calculus class but going to my doctoral identity class afterwards, and not remembering if I fed the baby that day or not. Talk about random.

Two nights in a row right before I got pregnant I dreamed unidentifiable evil people were chasing me. But the second night I dreamed I was also surrounded by invisible beings helping and protecting me. I woke up that morning with 2 Kings 6:16 in my head – Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. I felt calm, that with everything going on around us, we weren’t alone. There were innumerable people who wanted us to succeed.

A few times I’ve had dreams about ex-boyfriends. I’ve read that is common during pregnancy and it’s supposed to be the subconscious’s way of dealing with anxiety related to the coming required level of commitment from your husband and wondering if you made the right choice. It makes me smile though when it happens because each time those guys are still just as unreliable and unsmart as they were when I knew them, if not more so.

My subconscious and my conscious mind agree – Brett was/is the right choice. I have no doubts about his level of commitment to me or our growing family. He’s a dream come true, the best kind of dream. </sappiness>