One reason we resist making deliberate choices is that choice equals change and most of us, feeling the world is unpredictable enough, try to minimise the trauma of change in our personal lives.
– Hugh Mackay
Brett shared an article with me where they were describing different types of undecided voter. This particular article was about the undecided millennial. The article describes a man in his twenties who not only has trouble deciding who to vote for, but also has trouble deciding to grow up (an issue I’ve written about before). This man has never had to choose to grow-up before, to jump into the unknown, to face the uncertainty of change.
He lives with his parents, who pay for everything. He has three part-time jobs, none of which have anything to do with his degree.
even as full-time opportunities arose, Tyler turned away from that path. In a noisy, crowded, competitive life, he discovered a quiet moment between youth and adulthood and decided to linger.
The article specifically states that, “He’s a millennial who doesn’t always know what he believes.” Oddly enough, there’s a popular pop song that says the exact same thing to a very catchy tune:
I’m still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don’t know anymore…
– “Some Nights” by FUN
Watching the music video for that song paints it as a song from the point of view of a soldier in war. And that’s not an uncommon sentiment for soldiers in war (I could give several literary examples). But people in their mid-twenties living over their parents’ garage and mooching off their parents are not fighting a war.
My dad says when he graduated from high school his parents gave him luggage. It was time to leave. It was time to decide his own path in life and see where it took him. My parents didn’t give me luggage, but it was a very clear expectation that when I graduated high school I would leave home. I could go to any university I wanted as long as I didn’t go to the local one, unless I was super interested in studying what that university specialized in – rocks. I wasn’t that interested.
(Note: moving out of the house is not required to grow up. But making decisions for your life is.)
The choice was wide open for me. At the time my dad was just glad I stayed in the WAC, but that wasn’t a requirement. The young man in this article was told by his parents that he couldn’t go more than a few miles away, which might have something to do with him coming home so soon (and for so long) again.
How did I choose where to go? It was a combination of things. First, I’d always liked BYU. My parents both graduated from there, so there was that, I was familiar with the campus because I’d been there with them and I’d grown up hearing stories of the place. The university wooed me a bit my senior year of high school, inviting me for a weekend to check out the campus. And I felt absolutely at home during that trip. Have you ever had the feeling that you were exactly where you needed to be? That’s how I felt. And they had a real good program for what I wanted to study – elementary education (See! I’d already made a choice at my young age.). So that was how I decided where to go to college, the first time.
The second time I needed something close-by because I had to work it around my job. Which meant I had two choices – Utah State or University of Utah. Again, with prayer, I made a choice. And then I made that choice work.
The third time I felt I was leaving Utah, that I was leaving my job. So that opened up the whole country to me again. I checked out several different programs to see if I could find the focus I wanted to study. And I prayed a lot. And I ended up in southern Arizona.
I am not a millennial, but when I voted eight or twelve years ago, it was not the first big decision I’d made in my adult life.
Still unburdened by the stuff of adulthood, weighing what it means to lead a good life, this might be the first big choice Tyler makes.
Take a chance bud. Make a choice. Choose to change your life. You can’t live a good life if you aren’t actively living.
I am an educator and PhD. I quilt, belly dance, run, read, and try to grow things. I am a Mormon. I am infertile. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, friend, wife, and mom.
Brett L. Dennis
Mama g
Giggles
AmandaStretch
I’ve heard it said that choosing not to make a choice is still making a choice. Time will eventually decide our fate for us, but I would rather fate be decided on my terms. :brett:
True. It will be interesting to see what the results of large portions of a generation choosing not to grow up will do to society. I’d rather keep as much of my choices within my power as possible. :lisa:
I choose to choose. 🙂
I am grateful we live in a country where we have so many choices.
When I was dating Luke, he once told me that he couldn’t seriously considering marrying me unless I moved out. Well, it’s not that easy for some people–there are always exceptions. I chose to stay home because I was emotionally unstable when I went back to school at 28. Choosing to focus on my degree meant that I chose to work part-time and not get a full-time job until after I graduated. After graduating and getting engaged, I couldn’t get a full-time job, so I chose two part-time jobs. Then, when my fiance chose not to marry me, I had a strong safety net at home that helped me regain my stability in the aftermath of all of that. Once again, I couldn’t get a full-time job, so I chose a job that was 35 hours a week and chose to keep looking. Then I chose a full-time job when one was finally offered to me. A couple of years later, because of the choices of others, my parents began to struggle financially. I’ve chosen to shoulder a large part of that heavy burden for them.
It IS all about choice. I’ve chosen to stay home, help my family, and pay off my own debt before I think about choosing an apartment or home of my own. I choose to be responsible!
Choosing to be responsible is a whole heck of a lot different than choosing to mooch.
Amen. I don’t like moochers. 🙂