I’ve noticed something since getting married, something that now that I think about it was going on the whole time, but it really stands out now.
Remember how back in the old days, after dinner was over the men would retire to the drawing room to do their manly things and talk about manly topics while the women retreated to the parlor to twitter about womanly things? Take away the specific rooms for the purpose and it still happens today.
Now that we’re married, when we’re talking with another married couple, we can all be standing right there together but the guys are supposed to be having their conversation while us womenfolk are supposed to playfully roll our eyes at their crazy conversation and have our own little “talk a lot, pick a little more” conversation on the side.
There are two problems with this for me.
First – I don’t like small talk. That whole “cheep cheep cheep” stuff is not for me. I generally want a conversation with meat and substance that requires more brain power than idle gossip does. I am not saying all women ever talk about is superficial. There are some women I always have meaningful conversations with. And there are times when the conversation does not need to solve all the world’s problems. However, when I’m in this particular situation, more often than not, the other woman does not want to have a conversation on the level that the guys are.
Second – I like talking with my husband. The conversation he’s having, no matter who it’s with, is the one that interests me, the one I want to be a part of. The fact that he frequently mentions conversations he’s had with me in the past is all the more reason to be part of his current conversation. It’s amazing what I say that he remembers. I married him because I like talking with him, not because he seemed like a great guy to abandon at the door upon arriving at get-togethers while I go off and do my own thing. I mean, who wouldn’t want to talk to this guy? 😉
So now I’m stuck in a predicament. Because I can tell from the other wife’s body language that she really doesn’t want to be part of the conversation her husband is having and I sort of feel bad leaving her to be a unicycle while I go off three wheeling with the other conversation. But at the same time I really want to talk about what my husband is talking about.
Darn that drawing room!
I am an educator and PhD. I quilt, belly dance, run, read, and try to grow things. I am a Mormon. I am infertile. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, friend, wife, and mom.
Brett L. Dennis
Mama g
Giggles
AmandaStretch
1. Lisa didn’t mention how much it startles her when I begin a sentence to someone else by saying “Lisa and I were talking the other day….” That’s part of the fun of doing it 🙂 I’ve learned a few things about myself that weren’t always so clear to me in my dating years. One of which is that long diatribes about how poorly your latest mani-pedi turned out don’t stimulate me nearly as much as having a conversation does. I dodged a bullet or two along my path, but she was there at the end, so it was worth it. Six years in (including over two years, two months, two weeks and two days of marriage), and we still haven’t run out of things to talk about.
2. In case anyone cares, that’s my “sexy beast” look.
:brett:
1. Considering how many conversations we have and how many topics we talk about, I’m never quite sure what you’re going to bring into the current conversation. Hence my surprised face.
2. That’s why I married you. :heart:
:lisa:
Part of this, for me, is largely my introverted nature. The Introvert’s Corner today was about how introverts generally don’t want to be interrupted with small talk when out in public, but it can be okay to interrupt them with a meaningful conversation. Small talk, coming from men or women, is rather annoying to me most of the time.
Clearly, I need to get married and one set of us needs to move closer to the other, because I’d likely want to be a part of the conversation Brett is having too.
Introversion FTW!
I wouldn’t go out in the first place. GO INTROVERETS :woot: :woot: :woot: