Several months ago the lesson for the young women at church was on setting marriage standards. The young women were to think of those qualities they wanted and didn’t want in a husband and make a list.
I remember making a list way back then. It wasn’t the deepest of lists, but as my life went on the list, while not necessarily written down, was refined greatly. Being left-handed was on the list at the beginning, but was considered bonus points. Being musical was a bonus item too.
While I’m not looking for a husband at this point, I decided to write a list as well, as if I were. The first three items on the list were deal breakers for me, and were really the entire list before I got married. The rest of the items were specific ways of fulfilling the first three.
Someone I enjoy being with- Strong faith that he honors
- Someone who wants to marry me in an LDS temple
- Strong belief in education (and okay with me having as much education as I do even if it means I have more degrees than he does)
- A hard worker (so much more important than money)
- Protective of me
- Honors and respects me
- Challenges me mentally
- Their family likes me, I like their family. My family likes him, he likes my family.
- Brings out the best in me
Knowing what you want is a good thing. I got what I wanted. Six years ago Saturday Brett first introduced himself to me. Six years ago today I said hi back. That’s why I married him. :heart:
I am an educator and PhD. I quilt, belly dance, run, read, and try to grow things. I am a Mormon. I am infertile. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, friend, wife, and mom.
Brett L. Dennis
Mama g
Giggles
AmandaStretch
Good thing you didn’t say hi to anyone else before that day. Love you! :love: :brett:
You should be glad nobody introduced themselves to me before that day either. :lisa: :kiss:
I have to know. Is Brett left-handed? Is he musical? :whistle:
He is not left-handed. And I was actually a little bummed out about that for about thirty seconds or so once. He says he plans on being ambidextrous some day though.
He is, however, very musical. He played the piano and sang for me at our reception. (proof) When I asked his family for dirt on him the best they could come up with was that he used to wake up at 6am to practice the piano and would wake them all up.
I think I still have my YW list out there somewhere! Yes, it has changed (or been refined rather, as you said) in the past several years, but the deal-breaker ones are still pretty much the same.
I remember making (and still refining) a few of those lists in my day. My sister, however, did an activity they called Man In A Can for YW once. They made a list of things they want in a man and clipped pictures of what they wanted their wedding (and life maybe?) to be like. I remember her finding a wedding dress to include in her can. They sealed it up to be opened when they were actually planning a wedding. I really hope the right lesson was given in that activity, because I shudder to think what most 16 year old’s dream weddings look like and how disappointed they’ll be if things don’t turn out the same way!