I remember at 20

I remember the summer I turned 20 was spent in a lot of pain. I remember lying flat on the floor in tears trying to take as small of breaths as I could because any movement of my back muscles caused intense pain. I remember standing through all three hours of church because sitting was not possible because of how badly my back hurt.

That summer I had one of the more fun jobs I’ve ever had. I worked grounds at BYU, specifically in the horticultural garden. I weeded a LOT of day lilies. You’d think I wouldn’t like them any more but I think I grew to really appreciate them while I was weeding them. Each flower only lasts one day before wilting and another one opens. I learned so much about plants. I still walk around naming them wherever I go. The four of us that worked there were each given a small place to plant a garden. I grew corn and squash and tomatoes. It was a wonderful job. I’ve never had a job where I felt such peace while I was at work.

However one Wednesday I was using a four gallon back-pack weed sprayer for my four hour shift while I sprayed all the pathways. I would ride my bike to and from work and when I got home I could tell something was not right because my right arm/shoulder didn’t feel right to carry my bike up the stairs to my apartment. I had to carry it up with my left. It didn’t get better Thursday or Friday either and by Sunday my back was really starting to hurt. I went to the doctor on Monday (and that was a speed record for me at the time between injury and doctor).

Over the course of several doctor visits during the summer it was basically determined that I had sprained my shoulder and several large muscles in my back. I had been a belly sleeper up to that point, but had to switch to my side, with a pillow between my knees. I knelt at my desk for a lot of my classes the start of the semester that Fall (sitting is very bad for your back and is the most painful position when your back is injured). I kept active though, stopping and staying still means the blood doesn’t circulate as well to help heal the injury.

That injury made me question several things in my future. Particularly that shortly after the injury I’d turned 20 and received the inspiration that I needed to serve a mission the following year. When I’d be flat on my back or kneeling in class I’d wonder how that would ever be possible. However pretty much one year to the day of the injury I received my mission call. And while I’ve had issues with my back and shoulder since, they were fine for my mission (my feet, on the other hand were an entirely different story).