So my classes have forever changed me. I know have to analyze where and how we learn all kinds of things. Here are three recent examples.
I was watching an online conversation between moms about how they handle it when their kids have to get a shot. They were talking about shaking, crying, hiding in the corner, getting someone else to hold their kid. And these aren’t the people getting shots! Yes shots hurt. And yes a mom does not like seeing their child get hurt. But a child learns a lot about how to respond to a situation in large part by watching those around them. So these kids who are watching their mom cry in the corner while they get a shot are learning that shots are something to be feared with a great deal of dread. I wonder if there is something to that idea or if I’m just making things up. Of course after telling Brett about this he had to mention it to the paramedic starting my IV in the ER on Sunday and about how I used to scream murder at the idea of getting a shot. But he did hold my hand when she stuck me.
A side comment during class last week made me think about some behaviors I learned about as a child. They have done studies where they can show that part of what you find attractive as an adult has to do with the types of dolls you played with as a child. I played with my Cabbage Patch Kid a whole lot more than I ever played with a Barbie. And now that I’m grown, the super skinny model types just really aren’t attractive. I like real people with real shapes.
Another thought from class. Your best friend (“chum” in the research) likes you because of you. That relationship is affiliation motivated. Your acquaintances like you because of what you can do for them. Those relationships are achievement motivated. Thinking about it that way really made me think about my relationships with different people when I was in high school. But it continues now. There are those on Facebook who seem to be simply trying to collect as many “friends” as possible. They aren’t motivated by a need to affiliate with people. They are simply trying to achieve “friends” so they can appear more successful than others. “Friends” in that situation are a status symbol, they have no value for who they are, simply for what they represent. The coming generation has completely changed the definition of “friend” from someone you like, get along with, hang out with, confide in, etc., to simply someone whose name you clicked “add friend” next to. Kind of cheapens the word, don’t you think? I think I’ll bring back the word “chum”. My friends have value!
Wonder what tangents my thoughts will take in class tomorrow.
I am an educator and PhD. I quilt, belly dance, run, read, and try to grow things. I am a Mormon. I am infertile. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, grand-daughter, friend, wife, and mom.
Brett L. Dennis
Mama g
Giggles
AmandaStretch
You did not learn to be afraid of shots from me. If we talk about procrastination you got that one from me. I’m really good at that one. 🙂
I take issue with the whole “you played with Barbies so you have an unrealistic idea of beauty” idea. I played with Barbies, Starr dolls (no one remembers them), My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Cabbage Patch Kids, stuffed animals, baby dolls, rag dolls…I made clothes for all of them, too. I have only once had the desire to be a blond, and I’ve never had the desire to get implants. I think I have a very healthy self-image, and that may be because I grew up with a mother who didn’t color her hair or wear makeup. It may also be because I’m fairly well-educated and know a heck of a lot more about the history of clothing and psychology of appearance than a lot of people.
But it is interesting, isn’t it, to think of the ideals we may have learned in our childhood!
I’d never say that anything is a perfect predictor of what you will do or be like later. I can point to exceptions left and right for every theory and study we look at in class. Most of the exceptions are me. 🙂 But the trends do make you pause and think some times.