I’m already happy!!

I have an odd issue.

When I was at BYU, I attended the student wards. The last one I was in was an interesting one. I was in a position once where I saw a stake wide graph for various statistics of different parts of each ward in the stake. There were several bar graphs on this sheet. The graphs were comparing each ward to the others in the stake. There was one graph showing sacrament meeting attendance. There was one for Sunday school attendance. There were graphs for home teaching and visiting teaching for the month.

It was the last graph that got me though. It showed how many engagements happened in each ward for the month. The wards were basically seeing which ward could get people engaged faster than the others. They also mixed up the FHE groups very regularly because they were trying to get people to meet and get married faster.

And that focus on marriage rather than gospel doctrine soured me on single’s wards and I decided I would NOT get married in a single’s ward. I would NOT be one of those statistics. I would NOT be part of their stupid graph!

My most recent experience with a single’s ward was not nearly that extreme. I never saw any graphs (but that doesn’t mean they don’t have them). But they do keep track of engagements.

There are two walls with pictures on them in the office. One wall has a picture of everyone in the ward with their name and callings. The other wall is called the “Wall of Happiness.” On this wall are pictures of all the people in the ward who have gotten engaged.

The very name of this wall indicates that success and happiness is based on not being single. There are few lessons I can think of that would be worse to teach people. It subtly teaches that happiness is beyond your control, that it is something that happens to you, not something you choose and can control.

And I’m happy gosh darn it! And it has nothing to do with my social status. So until a “wall of happiness” can embrace all forms of happiness, happiness at work, happiness at school, happiness with your family, happiness for seeing the little quail couples running their little feet off across the road (yes the little things frequently make me happy), I want no part in it.

The scripture says, “Wickedness never was happiness” not, “Singleness never was happiness.”

And stealing a picture off Facebook to put up on that wall is just all kinds of sneaky and wrong.