A few pointers

I saw an article on the internet recently about seven ways for guys to show modern chivalry. It suggested such things as having a plan for a date when you ask someone out, calling within a day or two after the date, driving safe, turning off your cell phone while on the date, compliment on things that aren’t superficial, using physical contact appropriately, and being able to handle group dynamics. All of those things are excellent suggestions.

I should like to offer a few specifics to those suggestions.

It is only appropriate to call someone by a nickname to their face if you actually know the person, including their real name. It is not clever or impressive if, rather than asking someone their name, you immediately start calling them a mildly offensive nickname. You earn negative points for doing so, and when I turn my back to you, that should be sign enough that I wish for no further interaction with you.

More than just having a plan for a date, develop that plan more than 30 minutes before the trying to set up the date. I do have a life. I am not available at the drop of a hat. And this is especially true of first dates. Doing things last minute is what you do when you hang out with good friends. It is not what you do for a date with someone you barely know.

Talking on your phone the entire drive to the destination is not only bad driving, it’s rude. And when you are talking to a former girl-friend on the phone the entire drive to the destination, well, that’s just tacky.

While giving a compliment on something that is not superficial is good, make sure that compliment does not insult another thing that is also not superficial.

There are times when I wonder if there is a sign on me inviting all guys who have no idea what they are doing to practice with me. But I have also had some absolutely incredible dates. Those dates showed that there had been thought involved in the preparation because the date involved something that was specific to me. I’ve been to group events with a date, where even if there was a possibility I had already met everyone there, my date took the time to introduce me to everyone again. I’ve been on dates that involved practically no more money than the gas to get there, and I’ve been on dates where tickets to the event we attended were $30-$50 each. The money involved did not make it good. What made it good was the company I was with.

So while there are those guys who cross my path who could use some serious help, it’s nice to think back to the guys who really knew what they were doing. I need to find more of the latter.